Quotes to feel…

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1- let go

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2- feel everything so deeply

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3- support my best friend

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4- temporary hapiness

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5- self love

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6- accept your body

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7- disappear from every day life

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8- feelings for you

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9- inside of your head

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10- take me as I am

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11- no ordinary people

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12- the things we don’t say

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13- human

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14- i loved alone

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15- take the mask off

Publicités

Mes favoris du moment… #mai

 

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1- Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile de Joe Berlinger (7/10) – NETFLIX

2- Oh Lucy! de Atsuko Hirayanagi (7/10) – MYCANAL

3- Plaire, aimer et courir vite de Christophe Honoré (9/10♥) – MYCANAL

4- The Last Summer de William Bindley (7/10) – NETFLIX

5- L’Île aux chiens de Wes Anderson (8/10) – MYCANAL

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Skam remakes :

Skam France, Skam nl, Skam Espana, WTFOCK, Skam Italia, Druck

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La passe miroir (3 livres – le 4e le 28 Novembre 2019) ♥♥♥

MUSIQUES

1- SYML – where’s my love

2- Jacob Banks – Unknown (To You)

3- Amanda Leight Wilson – Back to Life

4- Aquilo – Silhouette

5- Dean Lewis – For the last time

6- London Grammar – Nightcall

7- flora cash – You’re somebody else

8- Banks – Crowded Places

9- Monty Datta – with somebody else

10-  Khalid – Saturday nights

CHAÎNE YOUTUBE

Nina Montagne

colineblf

Isadora et Marisa

Freya Haley

Galatée

A little reminder of what so great about this stupid life :

Speech by Nikki in the t@gged series

When I feel this loneliness witch is an awful feeling by the way I can read this and remind myself how to be happy :

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1- First thing on my list is friendship : the key of hapiness is finding your tribe, caring the real ones. The ones who never juges you. The ones who know the real you but are steal there. And don’t forget that friends can surprise you. Even if at first you couldn’t stand them too much but you got to be patient. Great things can happen.

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2- The second thing on my list is family : Family is annoying and at the same time so great. There a lot to say… but sometimes it’s not the family that you are born with but that’s okay too. You can find your family… At the end of the day they are yours and you are theirs. And remember that we are still so young and it’s totally okay to need your mom sometimes. Family can see when you feeling down but you have to make an effort. You have to…

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3- And there’s love. I have never experiment true love but I want to… I think it’s out there. I think if I’m patient and if I believe I deserved it I can find it.

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4- You know what I think the most important thing is… Is to love yourself first. I don’t think you can found true love until you fall truelly, deeply, madly for you. And maybe you’re true love is only you and that’s fine too.

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5- I don’t know how to love myself these days and sometimes I just feel like quiting but I don’t know… life is so shitty and it can feel pointless. It is so easy to hide behind small things : our phones, our computers, all that bullshit…

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6- Hapiness is people and honesty, and kindness and laughters, and nights ends, even mistakes and kisses and crying. We have to try… is worth it.

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7- It won’t always make sense and maybe it never make sense but at the end of the day we have to be gentle with ourselves and we have to take care of each others.

Life is life, nothing matters but kind of also everything is matters. Love you !

 

Citations de my so-called life… #5

Episode 05 :

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1- So, Sharon’s life was, like, developing…in this natural, healthy way. While my life
was, like, clogged.

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2- What does it mean, to call something Kafka-esque? [pause] Anyone?
Wanna take a guess?
Brian : Um, when something seems like a total nightmare, and you can’t
believe it’s really happening, only…it is.
Rinaldi : Can you give me an example of something Kafka-esque?
AngelaVO: Sharon Cherski having a boyfriend…and not me.

3- Exactly! I don’t want to be a girl. I just wanna hang with girls.

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4- No, I have the right to live my own life.

5- Angela : Who are they to say that? I mean, I don’t want people saying that
about you.
Rayanne : Or maybe about you, ’cause we’re friends.
Angela : Rayanne, that’s not it.
AngelaVO: Or maybe it was…kinda it.

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6- Okay, so I have a zit. I have a zit on my chin. It’s not the end
of the world. Exactly.

7- This girl…is everywhere. Perfect face, perfect body. I hate her.

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8- I gotta tell ya, now, after all these years, I actually like the way I look.
And that’s all that matters.

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9- The worst feeling is suddenly realizing that…[looks at her chest, looks at girls passing by] you don’t measure up. And that in the past, when you thought you did, you were a fool.

10- They’ve been holding hands for, like, two weeks. I’m serious, they never let go. I mean, it’s like their hands have been surgically implanted, you know? I mean, how do they eat?

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11- I mean, people pairing off…into couples. It’s like…I wasn’t expecting it, or something, like, like, did we cover this, was I absent that day?

12- Angela : What?
Patty : He said you have lovely skin.
Angela : [laughs] Yeah, right.
Patty : Angela, « thank you » will suffice.

13- Cosmetic: Well, you know, I do makeovers. I could do one for her, for the
fashion show, if…you’re interested.
Patty : Really? Well, that might be fun, right?
Angela : You think I need a makeover?
Patty : I didn’t say you need it, I… Never mind.

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14- Who taught you, please, who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin, to such extent that you bleach, to get like the white man? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose, and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself, from the top of your head, to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate, the race that you belong to? So much so, that you don’t want to be around each other. Oh no, before you come asking Mr. Mohammed, does he teach hate, you should ask, who yourself, who taught you, to hate being what God gave you.

15- Rickie : Okay, see the Egyptians, they wore eyeliner to…ward off the evil spirits. They believed that if they outlined their eyes, that the good spirits would spot ’em easier. I read it in a book. So that’s why I tried it. The eyeliner, I mean.
Brian : So you believe in, like, evil spirits?
Rickie : Oh no, I, I’m Catholic. Basically, I just like how it looks.
Brian : Oh, okay. Well, that kinda makes sense, I guess.

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16- It had become the focus of everything. It was all I could feel, all I could think about. It blotted out the rest of my face, the rest of my life. Like the zit had become…the truth about me.

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17- My hair is so hard to control. You’re so lucky, you’ve got that kind of hair you don’t even have to bother with. [pause] Oh my gosh, look at those dark circles under my eyes. I am so tired. I went out late dancing with my boyfriend every night this week.
Like you, you look like you get a good night’s sleep, every night. I have to go places with him and listen to him tell me how he’s always thinking about me, and how he gets jealous all the time. Do you have a boyfriend?
Angela : No.
Model : Oh my gosh, you are so lucky.

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18- Rayanne : Look, stop screwing around and just pop it, okay? So you can get
on with your life!
Angela : But won’t popping it cause a scar?
Rayanne : Anything causes a scar. Living causes a scar. My mother has a
humongous scar from having me. Does that mean that I shoulda never
been born?
Angela : So you’re saying, pop it?
Rayanne : [« Duh, squared » look] I gotta go.
Rickie : Don’t put concealer on it. It just clogs your pores worse.
Rayanne : Just pop it!

19- I would think that you would welcome the opportunity to, to dress up, to look your best-
Angela : Who am I looking my best for?
Patty : For you! Of course, this is for you.

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20- Angela : Mom, just face the facts, okay? [voice starting to quiver]
Patty : What facts? What-
Angela : That I’m ugly, okay? Just face it. I have.
Patty : How can you say that? How can you possibly-
Angela : By looking in the mirror, okay? By looking at you, at the way you
look at me.
Patty : How…do I look at you?
Angela : By the way you instruct me on how to wash my face so I don’t get
zits. Like you have to fix me. Like you’re ashamed of me.
Patty : Oh no, Angela, sweetheart, no-
Angela : ‘Cause you expect me to be beautiful…because you’re beautiful.
[pause] Well, I’m sorry. I’m not. I’m just not. [leaves]

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21- You really have…no clue…how attractive you are, do you?

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21- Nothing. I just…you’re just pretty surprising for somebody I’ve known…forever.

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23- The point is, is he’s the same person…inside. No matter what he looks like.

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24- Why do girls have to tear each other down?
Angela : I guess ’cause they’re jealous. I mean, I was…of you…for having what you have.

Sharon : Do you know how many times this week I wished I had what you have?
Angela : But I don’t have anything.
Sharon : Exactly. [« Sorry, don’t mean anything by it » look]

25- You know what? How many guys you do, or do not sleep with, is, like, so, none of my business. It has nothing to do with our friendship, okay?

26- Angela : Yeah, it’s her dream…that I magically turn into this…perfect, pretty daughter that she can show off and take all the credit for. Too bad. I don’t quite measure up.
Danielle: Well, you do. More than I do.
Angela : What?
Danielle: It’s true. I mean, face it. Who does she pick to do it with? I mean, not that I really wanted to do it…that much. [leaves]

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27- Angela : But, look at you. So, did you love being pretty?
Patty : I don’t know. I don’t think I ever…really let myself know I was. I was always…really careful not to seem stuck up or vain or confident. And, I, I look at a…picture like that and I see…my God, I was pretty. Oh, so pretty. I just wish that I had been able to enjoy it. [pause] That’s…all I want for you is…to enjoy…what you really are.

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28- Sometimes it seems like we’re all living in, like, some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It’s good to get really dressed up, once in a while. And admit the truth. That when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they’re actually…beautiful. Possibly even me.

Citations de my so-called life… #4

Episode 04 :

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1- When you’re not sure you trust a person anymore, say a person you really trusted, say your father, you start wishing they’d do something, like, really wrong, just so you could be right about them.

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2- When someone compliments your parents, there’s, like, nothing to say. It’s like a stun gun to your brain.

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3- I didn’t know what I was looking for. Some kind of…proof. Something that would make it make sense for me to hate him.

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4- Brian : You want my sweater?
Angela : Okay. [puts it on]
Brian : Try not to sweat into it.
Angela : Why do you have to say things like that?

5- What’s really horrible, is being a witness while someone’s parents orders them around. It ruins the conversation.

6- But Angela, whatever your dad may be doing with whatever girl, and you don’t even know if he is, he’s still the type of dad that would lay two Dead tickets on you, out of nowhere. That’s what matters.

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7- Graham : I don’t want to lose her.
Patty : Yeah, but you have to, just for a little while. You have to let her push you away and not punish her for it. All she’s doing is pushing you off your pedestal, and she’s right to do that, she has to do it. She’s right on schedule…she’s not a thousand years late, like I am.
Graham : So, so, um, what do I do?
Patty : Stand your ground. And let her know that…no matter how hard she pushes you away, you’ll still be there.

Rusty James, un film poétique et surprenant…

 

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Rusty James (Rumble Fish) réalisé par Francis Ford Coppola est sorti en 1983.

Synopsis : C’est l’histoire de Rusty James qui n’hésite pas à affronter lui-même un chef de bande rivale en l’absence de son frère aîné « Motorcycle boy« , au tout début du film. Il sera sauvé par le retour de son frère, un être mystérieux et fasciné par les poissons s’acharnant contre leur propre reflet. Rusty James rêve d’égaler les exploits de son grand frère, légendaire chef de bande qui a choisi de s’éclipser.

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Blind terror in a fight can easily pass for courage

 

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« He was born in the wrong era, on the wrong side of the river… with the ability to be able to do anything that he wants to do and findin’ nothin’ that he wants to do. I mean nothing. »

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Rusty: How can you tell if someone is crazy ?
Benny: Can’t always… Depends on how many think he’s crazy.

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Time is a funny thing. Time is a very peculiar item. You see when you’re young, you’re a kid, you got time, you got nothing but time. Throw away a couple of years, a couple of years there… it doesn’t matter. You know. The older you get you say, « Jesus, how much I got? I got thirty-five summers left. » Think about it. Thirty-five summers.

Citations de my so-called life… #3

Episode 03 :

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1 The fact that it was a better time then. When people knew what they were supposed to do. And how to make the world better. Now, nobody knows anything. We know who is popular. That social studies is boring.

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2- Instead of changing the world people sit in class and write notes about other people.

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3-  They weren’t the kind of kisses you could actually evaluate. They were__ *introductory* kisses.

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4 Angela: You see. Now what was that about?
Rayanne: He said hi?
Angela: That was not hi.
Rayanne: That was hi.
Angela: That was a *different* hi.
Rayanne: That was a he wants to get to know you hi.
Angela: From someone who never talks to me has never
talked me and would never talk to me.

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5 Oh, you know kids. They find one person and they just can’t get enough of them. Like being in love only they re not allowed to have sex.

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6 Don’t you remember there would be like this one person who had like perfect hair, or perfect breasts, or they were just so funny, and-and you just wanted to eat them up. Just-just live in their bed. Just be them. Like everybody else was in black and white and that person was in color.

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7 What sort of attitude are we supposed to have. Are we suppose to have an attitude ? I already have an attitude. But it maybe my mother’s attitude. I don’t want to get hysterical about this. Why not?  Why shouldn’t I be hysterical? She’s fif-teen. I should be hysterical.

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8- You don’t know what goes on in people life, ok? Maybe some people have guns for like to protect yourself. Maybe some people who have guns are like victims too. And they’re like forced to carry.  You think kids with guns are like gangsters or dealers but maybe not.

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9- And sometimes talking gets people into trouble. You know people say things about people, and it doesn’t always mean it’s true.

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10- I just think people wanna believe things about people so they decide certian things are true and they don’t even ask. And it’s not fair. Cause you have to live with it anyway.

11- When I was twelve, my mother gave me my sex talk. I’m not sure either of us has fully recovered.

12- Mom, I’m not having sex, alright. Really. I’m not even close. To an embarrassing degree.

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13- That’s when the change happened.  Just like that. Somewhere in those few seconds, I knew my life would never be the same.

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14- It’s amazing the things you notice.  Like the corner of his collar that was coming undone. Like he was from a poor family and couldn’t afford new shirts. That’s all I could see.  The whole world was that unravelled piece of fabric.

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15- It’s such a lie that you should do what’s in your heart. If we all did what was in
our hearts, the world would grind to a halt.

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16- And you know this has nothing to do with the truth. Nobody is interested in the truth. All they care about is what they want to believe.

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17- Life goes on.

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18- It’s weird how something has to happen sometimes to see how you actually feel
about something or someone.

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19- You know what I’d really like. To be put out of my misery.

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20- Everyone running around all upset and rumors, lying. Can’t you feel it in your fingers and your toes. It’s like being alive. It is such a rush. I mean, they look at you different, like, trying to figure out who you really are. Like you’re famous.

 

Citations de my so-called life… #2

Episode 02 :

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1- I’ve been kissed three times. No, four times. No, three times. All of them were people I never saw again, which I hope doesn’t like, mean something.

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2- I’ve never had an actual boyfriend. I don’t know if that’s normal or not.

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3- Angela, he’s gone. You can talk like a normal person.

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4- People throwing themselves at people is like the basis of civilization.

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5- If Jordan Catalano is nearby, my entire body knows it. Like one of those dogs that point. I’ll keep talking and stuff, but my mind won’t even know what I’m saying. I keep wondering if there’s a term for this.

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6- I bet people can actually die of embarrassment I bet it’s been medically proven.

7- What I dread, is when people who know you in completely different ways end up in the same area.

8- But that’s the part that’s so unfair. I have nothing else on my mind. How come I have to be the one sitting around analyzing him in like microscopic detail, and he gets to be the one with other things on his mind.

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9- I’m thinking about him, right? which is what I do. All the time. Like this… Obsession. So, it keeps me going or something. Like I need it just to get through the day. It…It’s just an obsession. And, if you make it real, it’s not the same. It’s not, it’s not yours anymore. I don’t know, maybe I’d rather have the fantasy than even him.

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10- You just want him. Only you’re programmed to never admit it.

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11- What’s amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere.  Like your life just figured out how to get good.

12- First of all, you don’t know me well enough to say how old I seem. And second…

Jordan : You talk a lot.

Ive said, like eight sentences to you in my entire life.

This whole day has been one long thing that makes no sense.

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13- We both stopped talking. Part of his sleeve was touching my arm. I don’t know if he knew. Then everything started to seem perfect, for some reason. The feel of his shirt against my elbow. The fact that I still had an elbow. It was the perfect moment for him to kiss me…for him to anything me.

14- I have to say that when my father warms something up, it tastes better than when anyone else does.

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15- Dad ! It’s…they’re not….people just hang out. They’re not …it’s not, dates. Just people. Together.

16- It’s so strange how parents can out of nowhere turn psychic. It’s unnerving.

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17- It’s ok to like someone, but I mean, boys your age, can sometimes…

Angela : Dad, I know. Can sometimes what?

Can sometimes not know how to be what you want them to be. My point is that, it’s really hard to figure out how to be a man. Practically every man I know is still working on it.

Citations de my so-called life… #1

Episode 01 :

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1– Just how people are… how they always expect you to be a certain way.

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2– Why with boys you have to pretend you don’t notice them noticing you ?

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3– I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother. It just means too much to her. I mean, if you stop and think about, like, chewing — what it really is? — how people just do it, like, in public.

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4– My dad and I used to be pretty tight. The sad truth is, my breasts have come between us.

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5– It’s just so hard to look at her. She looks like a stranger.

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6– I’m in love. His name is Jordan Catalano. He was left back, twice. Once I almost touched his  shoulder in the middle of a pop quiz. He’s always closing his eyes, like it hurts to look at things.

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7– I just like how he’s always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great.

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8– My parents keep asking how school was. It’s like saying, « How was that drive-by shooting? » You don’t care how it was, you’re lucky to get out alive.

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9– It just seems like, you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know it’s even you? And, I mean, this whole thing with yearbook — it’s like, everybody’s in this big hurry to make this book, to supposedly remember what happened but it’s not even what really happened, it’s what everyone thinks was supposed to happen. Because if you made a book of what really happened, it’d be a really upsetting book. You know, in my humble opinion.

10– You should see what they call chili con carne at school. First of all, it’s just beans.

11– Out of nowhere, she’ll get in this mood. And her lips will get all tight. It’s just so obvious that she’s looking for someone to blame.

Yeah. But you know that’s not the real her. Just try to be nicer to her. Once in a while. As an experiment.

12– The cafeteria is the embarrassment capital of the world. It’s like a prison movie.

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13– Okay, so maybe he’s bi. Who cares?

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14– You’re so beautiful, it hurts to look at you.

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15– Oh, the book is really — See, it’s this diary of her life. See, these Nazis were gonna kill her, so whatever she’d been like with her friends or her teachers — that was just over. She was hiding. But in this other way she wasn’t. She, like, stopped hiding. She was free.

16– These guys started hitting on us.

What? Like, sexual harrassment?

Like guys.

I am Maris, un documentaire inspirant…

I am Maris : portrait of a young yogi

Souffrant d’anxiété, de dépression et d’un trouble alimentaire, Maris affronte ses émotions grâce au yoga.

Avec tant d’authenticité, I am Maris dépeint un portrait sur la maladie mentale et le rétablissement en utilisant les propres mots de Maris et ses propres dessins pour illustrer son voyage inspirant.

I AM MARIS est une histoire sur la santé mentale, lamour de soi et le pouvoir de la voix d’une personne.

Ce documentaire qui se trouve sur Netflix m’a fait tellement du bien car j’ai pu m’identifier et trouver de l’espoir dans ce témoignage.

Je souffre de trouble alimentaire, de dépression et d’anxiété c’est pourquoi ça fait du bien d’entendre et de voir quelqu’un être sur la voie de la guérison. Le plus dur pour moi c’est d’accepter et d’y faire face car je ne l’ai dit pour l’instant à personne. Mais nous devons surtout parler des choses que l’on n’a pas envie de parler. Les choses dont on n’osent pas se l’avouer soi-même. Ce sont les choses les plus importantes en réalité. Ce sont les vrais problèmes qui nous empêchent de vivre. Seulement, nous sommes les seules qui ne veulent pas en parler et pourtant c’est la chose la plus importante à faire. Alors, trouve pour toi les choses dont tu ne parles à personne. Quelles sont-elles ? 

 

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Ainsi, ça m’a donné envie de me remettre sérieusement au yoga et d’être patiente avec moi-même. Grâce à ses dessins qui sont parfois similaires aux miens j’ai réalisé à quel point je me reconnais en elle.

Je peux m’avouer à moi-même que Oui c’est grave. Oui, je dois faire quelque chose et ne pas me laisser m’effondrer même si c’est la solution la plus facile que j’ai en ce moment. Je dois aussi me rétablir petit à petit et je sais que je le yoga peut me faire du bien. En tout cas en ce moment c’est le cas, alors je vais continuer et on verra.

Ce film parle d’anxiété, de trouble alimentaire, d’estime de soi (etc.) et je pense que ça peut parler à beaucoup de monde alors si vous regardez ce documentaire, dites-moi ce que vous en pensez.